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When Did You Last Feel The Pulse Of Your Impulsive?
Last Saturday didn’t want to be the Saturday it normally would be. The change announced itself in a curious way. It was 8 a.m. and I’d been in bed, staring out of the huge floor to ceiling windows, over to the greyness of ocean in the distance as it dumped its surf in silence. Gordon, my husband, asked if I wanted to join him down the road for a coffee. My answer was instant. NO. In a way, it surprised me, the force of it. More words moved and spluttered out of my mouth, begging to be heard:
”I need to get away, far away…today. Now! A road-trip!”
Well he was all for it, asked me where I had in mind. But I didn’t know. The only sense I had was that I needed to be with the dirt, red dirt. I realised it was out of the question given where we lived on the coast. To get out into the desert required a longer drive than we would be able to do in a roundtrip over two days. But he did a quick check on his mobile anyway.
‘’We could go to Dunedoo?” he offered.
‘’Dunny Doo? What’s there?”
He shrugged his shoulders, informing me only that it was five hours away. It didn’t matter because already I could hear my reply coming up and out:
‘’OK, let’s do it.”
Two minutes after jumping out of bed though, it dawned on me. My friend’s birthday gathering was the next day, at noon, and we’d said we would go. Bugger! Voices started piping up in my head.
It would be a ridiculous amount of driving in just a few hours
We wouldn’t even get the full weekend on the road – what would be the point?
You can’t run away, you have responsibilities.
For a minute, I thought the road trip would have to wait till next weekend. But then I felt that impulse again, twitching and surging through me, rising up and out. It didn’t matter, I heard myself say, let’s go anyway! Even if it was hours away and just for one night. I liked that it didn’t make sense or have to make sense. After all, I had been struggling lately with everything having to make sense, everything I do having to be for something rational, to have a responsible point to it, a justifiable reason.
Five minutes later we were out the door.
We knew we could get as far as Dunedoo, and also that we might not.
The point was that a true impulse simply wanted to be lived, to be honoured, now.
It was in fact my true nature, speaking to me, impulsing me. What a sweet remembering! Because for me, this is what it really means to ‘’live your true nature’’ – the meaning before the personal development movement coined the phrase and created a more layered interpretation that could sell courses.
Ask any indigenous tribe, and they will tell you that to ‘’live your nature’’ is to be in spontaneity.
There are sparks that ignite in us on a daily basis. Ones that can open us to more joy. The question is, are we living these?
To live our true nature is to be impulse-d, moment to moment by these sparks. By an intelligence moving through us, just like the way the nature that we see outside of our windows, lives.
Spontaneity is true aliveness.
We are a part of that nature we see outside our door, we ourselves are ‘’human’’ nature. Yet our conditioning and modern lifestyle does not often have us being even present to these subtle impulses. We can spend most of our time suffering complete amnesia with regards to them. Or we are aware but deliberately deny ourselves this truth, in order civilise ourselves and conform.
Maybe that’s why road trips exist then.
So we can remember again.
In a fun way 
And what fun we had, too!
Open road and beautiful clouds and vistas the whole way, my feet resting up on the dashboard, my head out the window snorting up the sweetness of golden wattle on the big winds.There was a funny theme of weird toilets in between stops, as can often be the case on road trips. Lots of taking photos! And we got to Dunedoo. Not much there, just a strip of a town but with a couple of bizarre educational billboards that made for an entertaining read.
Further impulses drove us on to Gulgong, an old goldmining town, its heritage wonderfully preserved. Guided to the most perfect motel, we discovered the rarity of a fridge stocked with treats, and the owner hand-delivering bread and milk as further offerings.
Sunset gifted us in spectacular fashion as we stood atop the one huge hill in town, sharing the 360 degree panorama with over 20 wild roos feeding close by. Then it was off to drinks at the one pub out of four we were guided to enter, where a woodburner and good cheer from country folk warmed the room.
And by the time dinner arrived beside the crackles of an open hearth in the room next door, you can be sure of one thing…
…it came with a large serve of spontaneity on the side 😉
Invitation: What about you? When was the last time you felt to do something utterly spontaneous – and truly lived it? When something truly impulsive rose up within you and right there, right then, you honoured it even though it seemed like madness to your mind?
N.B. If you enjoyed this topic, you might also like an earlier edition of my Notes, called The Gift of Living What Doesn’t Make Sense – you can check it out here.
