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where is home? (And how to never lose it)
There has been a ‘’reminder’’ theme for me this week of coming back to self as the source of all creation and vitality, and of what we move out into the world.
It started with a coaching client who is currently enjoying SHIFT with me – one of my shorter, tailored, one-on-one programmes. Let’s call her Dawn.
When Dawn’s marriage ended two years ago so too did her ability to live in the home she had cherished for a very long time. These endings had been the trigger for her to experience a great deal of deep loss on many levels, as well as anxiety and grief.
Recently she has moved to a new place she feels she can call home and as she reiterated to me her hopes for it, she expressed: “I just want it to be a space where I can create, and invite folk into”.
During the week that followed our last session, Dawn invited friends round to dinner there for the first time, and had experienced the most wonderful and joyous night.
Her feedback to me therefore was that she could see she had achieved a very good start to this desire of hers to have a creative space that she could invite folk into.
I agreed wholeheartedly.
But I also saw something deeper still and shared it with her.
What I saw was that SHE was that space!
What I saw was that she WAS the space!
She was THE SPACE she so desired!
Interesting, huh?
So many of us desire a home such as she describes, or even a place we can come home to where we can be private and have our own space. It’s a natural thing to want and to enjoy.
Like me, and maybe like you also, Dawn also sees the home as a place for her to host, nourish, and tend to others with her food, warmth, creativity, energy, and welcome. And it is a truth that the home is one of the physical places in which we can carry out these activities.
That said, things in our external do come and go in life.
Including physical houses and homes.
And when that happens, and the waves break on the beach and suck back out to sea, we can ride a pendulum swing between being happy and safe and secure and stable, to feeling huge loss and insecure and unstable and uprooted.
And mostly then we can forget something very profound and important:
Home is what the hearth of our heart is.
What I saw in our session was that my client was this “desired-for space” herself.
She was the space from which she created, and into which she invited folk.
She had invited friends and loves ones to pull up their chairs around the hearth of her heart – that creative and vital centre we all of us have – way before she ever invited them into that same expression called her physical home and its heart.
She had welcomed her friends to step into her heart long before she had finally welcomed them over the threshold of her physical front door.
The welcoming heart is where all external ”home” begins.
The room you make in your heart for friends and for folk is where it all starts. De-cluttering that “house” is what makes the space for people to begin to feel like they can be comfortable in your company…wherever that might be.
When you realise you are that longed-for home, and that you are that creative and inviting space, then you will always experience having it because you will take the hearth of your heart with you wherever you go.
It will warm whoever you speak to around that fire.
Your love and caring from this home will offer nourishment to many.
And your passion and creativity will ignite and inspire and colour all who cross your path.
So here comes the ending of my little story today…(and really it is Dawn’s ending, so far)…
The night she had the friends over, she had secretly wanted to take them out into the backyard after dinner so they could sit on blankets under the stars – there was such a beautiful view of the Milky Way from her place. She didn’t tell them her wish though, and instead held it in her heart and allowed the night to unfold.
Lo and behold, at some point and seemingly of his own accord, one of the friends jumped up and suggested they go outside on blankets and sit out under the stars.
It couldn’t have been more perfect for Dawn.
All she ever did was be the heart space – the ”home” – in which that could unfold. All she ever did was be the creative space that invited folk ”in” so they felt comfortable enough to feel their own inspiration and suggest something like “hey, let’s go outside and look at the stars!”
To me, and to Dawn, that is beautiful.
You are that home.
We are that home.
So here’s to all our warm, inviting, creative, and welcoming hearts and homes within.
For this home is the true creative space from which, and into which, we are really inviting folk.
Dawn, I bow down to your heart and I value the juicy journey we are stepping and unfolding, the home we are returning to.